Saturday, February 15, 2014

A Seed Planted, Waiting for our New Addition

A "Blue Enchantment" morning glory seed packet, one variety of flower seeds Steve and I handed out to our guests after our garden themed wedding reception in our backyard in late September of 2012.

We have morning glory in our backyard, which came beautifully landscaped when we moved into our two family home. I snapped this photo the day after our wedding. I felt as "zen" as my garden fairy statue, and as snug as the two lovebirds. It was a very long road to get to our marriage and find our home. Everything in it's due time, I've learned as I've gotten older, and I appreciate my blessings so much more. It's tempting in life to focus on what we don't and didn't have instead of all that we do or did. It wasn't a sunny day like pictured here, but overcast with just a few moments of drizzling, but I'm grateful it didn't rain as it did the entire week leading up to the day. Without the rain, the garden wouldn't be so green.

I'm so glad we saved money not having a big wedding (we had about 30 guests) and held a party after the church at our home, saving for future security instead.

Gardens were a part of my world to follow - I think so warmly of our honeymoon in northern California: the Japanese gardens in San Francisco, lavender rosemary tea from Chinatown, the bounty of the California harvest and wine country, and our later trip to Washington state: blackberries everything, wildflowers on the road, lavender fields just starting to bloom. Even the red geraniums at the Wilder Homestead in Malone, New York, or the apples of autumn in Vermont. I'm so glad we took those times to travel when we could spend the time alone together, just us and the open road.

Over the summer Steve and I were planting some of the leftover seed packets. I'm humbled to admit it, but truthfully I'd never planted anything from seed before. It felt symbolic in a way since we were in the process of planting our own seed for the future.

I'm thrilled to tell you we are expecting our first child in just a few weeks time. I'll be a mom at 38. I'm so excited to be welcoming our new addition not long before the arrival of spring after this very long, harsh winter afflicting much of the nation. I can't even get to my birdfeeder on my patio since several feet of snow block the way. I cherish the four seasons, but even winter-loving me has had enough and is ready to greet the first robins and daffodils with a more happy heart than ever. Spring is when so much new life comes into the world, and rebirth is occurring everywhere.

We're having a girl. I still remember when we found out the baby's gender. We were just leaving Malone on our Northeast road trip. I've taken to reading more children's books the past few years. A bookstore owner asked me if I was a teacher when I expressed my interest in Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House books and Louise Erdrich's Birchbark House series. I hope to be a teacher at least to our daughter of many things, and can't wait to share story time with her, and for her to discover all the world has to offer. Frances Degen Horowitz, President of the Graduate Center of the City University of New York, interviewing Barbara Goldsmith about her book "Obsessive Genius: The Inner World of Madame Curie," said she believes "the only purely genetic moment in our life journeys is the moment of conception. Past conception, everything is an interaction."

As you can imagine, it's been an exciting time of anticipation, but also dealing with a slew of  appointments, determinations about tests (since I'm over 35, I've been broad-brushed into an "at risk" category), and asking the question often, "is this covered by insurance?" While I'm a history lover and enjoy time traveling into the past and don't love everything about modern life (no baby laptops for our daughter), I appreciate most today the advances in medical care. I've also been on disability for a few weeks. My harried days of commuting from New Jersey into New York City were put to an abrupt end by my doctor as my body and baby demanded rest before her arrival. So thankful for my books and some fun diversions like Downton Abbey and When Calls the Heart, more napping than I've ever done in my life, and the company of my two doggies Nikki and Jet (who are equally well rested and ready for spring). I've been telling them a new pack member will be joining our family soon, and no jealousy, as there's enough love for everyone.

I still remember when we took Nikki in - not long after, she had all those pups - witnessing the miracle of life with her maternal instincts kicking in (no reading up on What to Expect When Expecting for her), and how Jet was this young pup and now is a 20 pound happy girl and hopefully Nikki's other puppies are thriving in their forever homes. Isn't nature amazing? I keep telling myself if Nikki can give birth to eight puppies (and have to nurse and care for them all!), I can give birth once!

I'll let you know when she's here and her name when she arrives. I've never been so excited to meet someone in my life. I may or may not be doing some writing, depending on when she comes and how I feel. I have all this free time but my soul is anxious about the great change about to take place.  Like many of you may have, cabin fever is here.

I was looking at photos from our garden party, and came across this rosemary plant with the sign, "Love Grows Here." I want more than anything to provide a loving home to our daughter. We should all give thanks if we grew up in a household where love grew, and if we did or not (I think those of us who did might take it for granted), we should all strive to sow the seed of love in our families, friends and animals for current and future generations. We all need more love in this world.